You both love God. You both want a marriage that means something more than just getting through the week together. But when it comes to actually doing spiritual things as a couple, it can feel oddly uncomfortable. Like you're putting on a performance for each other, or one of you is always more into it than the other. That tension is real, and it's more common than you think.

Growing spiritually as a couple isn't about becoming a Pinterest-worthy devotional couple. It's about building something honest and durable, together, over time. Here's how to actually do it.

Start Smaller Than You Think You Should

Most couples aim too high at the start. They commit to daily Bible reading, weekly prayer nights, and a marriage devotional, and then feel like failures when life gets in the way. The guilt builds up, and eventually they stop trying altogether.

Start with one thing. One small, sustainable habit. Maybe it's a two-minute prayer before bed. Maybe it's texting each other a verse once a week. Small and consistent beats ambitious and sporadic every single time. Build the muscle before you add the weight.

Pray Out Loud Together, Even When It Feels Weird

Praying together is one of the most intimate things a couple can do, which is exactly why it feels so vulnerable. Hearing your spouse talk to God pulls back a curtain in a way that little else does.

That vulnerability is the point. Don't wait until it feels natural. It gets easier the more you do it, but it almost never starts easy. Keep the prayers short and honest. You don't need eloquence. You need presence.

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.Matthew 18:19-20

That promise isn't for polished prayers. It's for two people showing up together.

Talk About What God Is Doing in Your Individual Lives

Spiritual growth as a couple doesn't mean you stop growing as individuals. In fact, the richest couples spiritually are the ones who bring what God is teaching them personally into their conversations together.

Make space for this kind of sharing. Ask each other: what's been on your heart lately? What has God been speaking to you about? What are you wrestling with? These conversations don't need a formal setting. They can happen on a drive, over dinner, or while you're doing dishes. The goal is that your interior life isn't hidden from each other.

Find a Church You Both Actually Want to Be Part Of

Attending church together matters more than most couples realize. Not just for the teaching or the worship, but because shared community shapes you. You meet people who are further along. You serve together. You belong to something bigger than your household.

If you're in a season where church feels dry or you haven't found the right fit, make finding one a real priority, not a someday thing. Go together, evaluate together, and commit together. A church you're both invested in becomes a third source of spiritual nourishment in your marriage.

Be Honest About Where You Actually Are Spiritually

One of the fastest ways to stall out spiritually as a couple is pretending. Pretending you're more consistent than you are. Pretending faith feels easy when it doesn't. Pretending you're on the same page when you're not.

Real spiritual growth requires real honesty. If you're in a dry season, say so. If you're doubting something, bring it into the open. If you feel like your spouse is going through the motions, find a gentle way to name it. Couples who can be spiritually honest with each other build a kind of trust that goes very deep.

This doesn't mean unloading every doubt without care. It means treating each other as safe people, which is what a spouse is supposed to be.

Serve Others Together

There's something that happens when a couple gets outside their own home and serves someone else. The focus shifts. The small irritations of married life shrink. You see each other differently when you're both giving something away.

Find a place to serve that you both care about. It might be your church's food pantry, a mentorship program, or simply committing to hospitality with people who need community. Service done together has a way of aligning your hearts toward the same things, including the things that matter most.

Give Yourselves Grace for the Uneven Seasons

There will be seasons where one of you is spiritually vibrant and the other is barely hanging on. Seasons of grief, stress, exhaustion, or doubt will come, and they won't always hit you both at the same time. That's okay.

The goal isn't perfect synchronization. The goal is staying committed to growing together even when the pace is uneven. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is carry a little extra for your spouse when they're depleted, and trust they'll do the same for you.

Growing spiritually as a couple is less about the right program and more about the right posture: toward God, and toward each other. Show up imperfectly, stay honest, and keep choosing to do it together. That's more than enough to build something beautiful.